I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
