Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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