so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
