Everything about him screamed your future.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
