she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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