Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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