i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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