kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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