We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
