Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
