omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
