so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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