There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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