dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
okay pat passed out under dana's car
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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