I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
