whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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