i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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