I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize