sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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