how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
