the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
