So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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