I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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