I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
