I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
