I am puke
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
