if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
