i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
