she was so not down for the gang bang
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize