My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
