im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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