I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
