Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
