Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize