I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
