i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize