I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
