your parents love me but you hate me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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