we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
