I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
