I look better un-naked...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
