Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
