We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
