Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
