Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
