it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
