Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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