trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
