I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
