My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
