He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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