There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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