I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
