Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
