I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
