I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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