Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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