I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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