waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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