Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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