the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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