its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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