this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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