how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
