I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
