I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
