420 ftw
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
