Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize