I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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