all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
